Video games, motherfucker : games I played in the first 6 months of 2010

As we all know, I play a lot of video games. Let me talk about them. Cool. Also I hope this will lessen the claim that I only talk about Japanese things

Bayonetta is an action game by Hideki Kamiya, the man who made DMC, a game that defined the way action games worked 10 years ago (but did not participate in DMC3 which was the best one).
Bayonetta leaves me with mixed feelings. On one half, the gameplay is good as fuck, I mean goddamn, DMC now feels slow in comparision and also I really appreciate the over the top factor this game has by trying to be insane in ways video games have not tried yet, and I really like the soundtrack since it's pianos are distinct.
On the other half, Bayonetta's character designs, enemy designs, voice acting and the way the characters behave is fucking obnoxious. While it is funny at first when Bayonetta drops those ''oh you naughty boy do you want nanny to give your bottom a good spanking'' lines, but by the 4th hour it really starts to annoy me since that is the only real traits they had given her.
And then there's the silly, silly pretentions to sexuality that the defenders of which like to think that it intimidates the kind of people that play games like Rapelay, but I don't know. When I think of a strong woman from Japanese media, I think Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost In The Shell or Maki Aikawa from Air Master or maybe Claire from Claymore, not Bayonetta.
You can tell me to cry on classic white haired Dante's grave as much as you like, or you can tell me that the gameplay is all that matters. Well, I don't agree. Gameplay alone only mattered back in the Atari days and maybe the NES days when technology wasn't good enough to make actual living worlds to immerse yourself in so they had to rely on the basic instinct of IT FEELS GOOD TO DO THIS. Saying that gameplay is the only thing that matters in games is the same as saying that in a movie, the only element that truly matters is acting and other elements are to be disregarded (which I would argue to be true in old theater, maybe).
Also another thing that messed with my enjoyment of the game was the shit-ness of the PS3 port, which fucked with me hardcore.
Which is too bad since I really looked forward to what is in terms of gameplay the best action game of 2010.
8/10

Yakuza 3 is a game that made me go on a quest to get as much of my nigs to play, since I genuinely think it's Sega's best franchise.
The Yakuza series is the spiritual successor of the Shenmue series, in that it's sort of like a Japanese open world game that prefers immersion over scale.
Actually, I played this game in 2009 after I imported it from Japan (along with Ryu Ga Gotoku Kenzan, the samurai spinoff of Yakuza), but I really looked forward to the western release so I could fully understand what's happening and be able to do things other than the main plotline.
The game lets you play as Kazuma Kiryu, ex-yakuza who runs an orphanage and overall man's man in a truly manly sense (see Gears of War and God Of War's main characters as examples of what 12 year olds think is manly, but isn't quite).
I don't really know how to classify Yakuza, but I suppose the most accurate description would be an action-adventure RPG. The combat is a brawler but there's also leveling up, character upgrading, items and crafting in the mix, altough a realistic take on modern day Osaka and Tokyo's criminal ongoings aren't quite what you think of when someone says Action RPG.
Also the game has a wide range of minigames that have more dept and craftsmanship in them than what you would find in a Wii minigame collection. My favorite one was the billiard minigame.
So overall, Yakuza has an immersive and expansive world that recreates Japan pretty well, and by Japan I mean actual Japan, not animu Japan. Actual Japan with love hotels, perverted salarymen, corrupt politicians, miserable otaku and bars manly with rich, old dirty men soliciting sex from the hostesses and yakuza henchmen forcing out an apology from you if you so much as to look at them wrong.
Yakuza is sort of an aquired taste, it doesn't appeal to the average whitey gamer since all the voice acting is in foregin, but it also doesn't appeal to the average weaboo since it isn't the glorified animu japan they dream of (spoilers : they are just as despised in Japan as they are in the west), with a cast that is entirely ether men around the ages of 30 and + or kids that don't call you ''oniichan'' and ask you to do seemingly innocent things that end up in sex, and the general fact that the modeling is fairly realistic, with not a single hint of animu.
9/10 would play again if the disk wasn't damaged.

Final Fantasy XIII is the analdump that was considered the RPG to save JRPGs before it came out, but was ultimately the bullet in the leg that made Squeenix's stock collapse (and FFXIV was the one that took off the tip of the shaft).
It has fantastic graphics and a really nice soundtrack.
I won't really complain about the cast ether, since while they're not perfect, FF always had semi-shitty casts (don't let nostalgia tell you otherwise).
But the thing I cannot forgive is the lack of freedom in both traversing the world and in the actual combat. Kingdom Hearts had several worlds and gave you the freedom of do whatever you like in them, they were mostly just sections of corridors, but atleast they made you feel like there is a large, expansive universe. FFX (which I might remind you, is the best FF) might have had a turn based combat system, but atleast it had actual tactics instead of MASH ATTACK OH BUTTERNUGGETS THIS MENU IS UNINTUITIVE. Also FFX was composed of mostly just long hallways, but they atleast resulted in the feeling of what was a large, epic quest that took you across an actual world. FFXIII just felt like it was holding your hand the whole time. They say that the game gets better after 20 hours and everything opens up, but by the time I hit 20 hours I could have played (and probably beat) some other game, or an even better analogy : that's like saying it's awesome to have sex with prostitutes after you get over the STDs.
6/10

Pokemon Soul Silver is a remake of Pokemon Gold/Silver, which you might consider redundant, since Pokemon is already a series that is bedfellows with the concept of rehashing. But I digress, I play every one of the main Pokemon games.
But I have a particular connection to Silver since it was the first Pokemon game I played and beat. I have a certain fondness for Red/Blue but I honestly think Silver is the best and the remake of which is groovypants. It's great to reexperience the adventure but it's not quite the same, but then again what is when you're not 10 anymore.
But what I like best about Silver that annoys me about the other Pokemon games is that Silver was the only one to let you revisit the territory of the first game, which is awesome, since it gives you that feeling of ''hey it's cool to be here'', doubles the places you can visit to waste time and the developers don't have to work really hard to expand the game significantly, which is good for both the player and the developers.
8/10
Ace Attorney Investigations : Miles Edgeworth (which was rumored to have the more awesome title ''Miles Edgeword : Perfect Prossecutor'') is a spin off of the Ace Attorney visual novel series. Ace Attorney is the only visual novel series that has continued to keep me interested without a single exposed nipple because of the prospects of having a wank. The previous Ace Attorney game, Apollo Justice Ace Attorney was kind of good but did not satisfy since it pushed aside the beloved protagonist Phoenix Wright in favor of Apollo Justice, who is just like him but not him.

But while Phoenix's story is probably done, there is still one character who is worthy of his own Ace Attorney game, and that would be Phoenix's rival Miles Edgeworth.
Furhermore, Ace Attorney Investigations changes up the gameplay a bit by having you actually navigate the world instead of just clicking static pictures, and also there's the logic system, which has you put threads together to create deductions, which give you a clearer image of what exactly is going on, instead of just have you blindly present evidence without being sure.

The story has Miles Edgeworh joined by his sidekick, detective Dick Gumshoe (might as well call him Cock Condom) and the female sidekick, the kaito (phantom thief) Kay Faraday (who is exclusive to this game so far) (since every Ace Attorney main character has a teenage girl hang out with him). And through five seemingly unrelated cases about a detective being killed in Edgeworth's office, an foregin agent investigating smuggling being murdered on a plane, the son of a millionare being held hostage in an amusement park by unknown assilants, a flashback case in which Miles, Gumshoe, Franziska Von Karma and Kay Faraday were involved and finally the case in which it all shows the full picture of the Yatagarasu case that intervines the entire plot of the game.

A flaw that Apollo Justice had was that it abandoned a large part of the cast of the first three VNs. AAI does a better job. Altough nor Phoenix nor any of the Fey family or any characters directly associated with Phoenix's story don't make an appearance, there is still a fare share of familiar faces like Dick Gumshoe, Franziska Von Karma, Ema Skye and even Manfred Von Karma make an apperance. Phoenix is even given a really well done nod to in a crucial moment without actually mentioning him. Oh yeah and the two comic relief scapegoat characters Larry Butz and old hag Oldbag reappear.
But the new characters are also pretty cool. I like Kay, but my favorite would be Shi Long Lang, the detective from the east, who just leaks Junichi Suwabe(Archer from Fate/Stay Night, Grimjow Jeagerjaques from Bleach)/Kazuya Nakai(Roronoa Zoro), who is just totally awesome, and mostly antagonizes Miles by providing arguments, but at the very end does a clever ploy to help Miles solve the case of the Yatagarasu.
Also honorable mentions to the embassedor of Babahl, who's name escapes me, but he was helpful, friendly and with the best intentions, so in other words, a bro.
Sadly, Ace Attorney games have no replay value unless you play them like several years later.
8/10 will read again

Super Street Fighter IV is the updated version of Street Fighter IV, and an overall better game. Now, Street Fighter IV is my favorite multiplayer game of the generation, and one of the most important games this generation since it single-handedly revived the popularitiy of the fighting game genre, a genre that had not been doing so well since the death of arcades.
And Super Street Fighter IV is an even better thing, adding 10 more characters and expanding the move sets of every character, having even better multi, redoing the anime cutscenes to be less shitty and generally giving more content.
Also a thing I like is that it gave character themes to the entire cast, whereas in vanilla only a few characters had their own character themes and for some retarded reason the composers made unmemorable stage themes instead. And maybe the new character themes not so much, but the rearranges of existing themes are pretty awesome.
I'm most thankful for the addition of Adon, a character from the very first Street Fighter and Street Fighter Alpha, who suits me entirely by being very rushdowning, entirely melee focused, a QCF character and easy to use. In fact, after going from Fei Long to Adon, I had the same feeling as Takumi Fujiwara from Initial D when he drived his dad's Subaru Impreza after spending so much time with the AE86.
Oh and did I mention that the game was 25GBP at launch? Now that's a fantastic deal!
10/10

First true dissapointment of the year, Lost Planet 2 is a mishandled concept that could have been fantastic. The idea was this, co-op alien monster slaying shooter action! Monster hunter like looting! Feel like a badass while slaying giant monsters! Ride mecha!
But they kind of fucked it up with not very good, cluttered controls and a general lack of polish. Which is a shame, because with actual dedication this could have been a really great co-op game.
A lot of people hate this game to death, I personally don't think it's terrible, but a big letdown. It's fun to co-op, but then again everything is.
The online is inhabited by Japanese people who are also probably masters of Monster Hunter. And Monster Hunter, too, is a game that has a great concept, but is kind of fumbled and failed but still adored by the Japanese.

Red Dead Redemption, the new Rockstar game that sweeps all the GOTY rewards. Okay, this game is good, but maybe I'm missing part of the picture. You see, as someone who originates from an ex-soviet country, I didn't see a lot of cowboy movies because they were kind of irrelevant to me both because of age and ethnicity.
This game is... well... kind of boring to me. I'm sure an american could appreciate the arguable authenticity of being able to play around in what feels like a John Wayne movie, but I don't.
Game has a lot to do and the world is expansive, but at the same time it's very slow moving and there's a moral choice system which fucks with me, because on one hand I know that the wild west is most fun when you beat up women, hang negros and shoot people over a game of cards, but at the same time I want to be a friend of justice like ma boi Kamen Rider.
Game is well crafted, but doesn't quite hook me in. If the game had a smaller, but more detailed world like Yakuza, then I think it would work much better for me personally.
Also I couldn't give a shit about John Marston (who certainly is no Ezio) since he was boring and even less a shit about the characters around him and the plot.
But I do still think there should be more history-based games, that is a pretty cool concept.
8/10

Tune back in tomorrow for the other 6 months of the year, with a lot more games.